SHOP till you drop? No thanks.
How about just drop . . . along England’s longest zipwire and on Europe’s highest swing that just so happen to be at a shopping centre?
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Now you’re talking.
Bluewater in Kent, which is celebrating its 25th anniversary, has long been known as the place to go for all types of retail therapy, but now it’s also the go-to spot for an adrenaline rush.
As we stood at the top of a three-storey tower, 100m above the floor, the blood was certainly pumping.
My son Joshua, ten, was somewhat nervous and needed a little encouragement to lie, chest down, in a harness that was then hooked to the wire above.
The 700m or so of zip line stretching out over a chasm looked, er, daunting.
I’m sure it was rain on Joshy’s cheeks and not tears as he mustered a smile and thumbs-up for the cameras that were strapped to our helmets.
After final instructions from superb staff, who had kept him (and me) calm, we were off, soaring towards the huge lake.
Josh was out in front but my extra weight soon had me catching up as we reached 60mph.
Whooping and screaming, with arms out, we flew through the spring drizzle.
That’s a great thing about Hangloose Adventure — only electrical storms and extreme cold is going to stop you.
The March rain? No bother.
Arriving at the landing platform at some speed, I turned to see Josh come to a smooth stop. His beaming smile could probably be seen from the top where we started.
As we climbed into our harnesses, our instructor told us: ‘No matter how many times I do it, it still shocks me.’
There was little time to draw breath and compare techniques as we were now at the base of the Giant Swing.
As we climbed into our harnesses, our instructor told us: “No matter how many times I do it, it still shocks me.”
Soon enough, we were being dragged backwards to the top again — and Josh was worried again.
I was relieved I could just focus on keeping him calm.
We were soon the equivalent of 22 storeys high and being asked for a thumbs-up from below.
Then, click . . .
The swing was released. With my stomach still at the top, we hurtled towards the ground in freefall, before the swing took effect and we were facing the sky again. My face on the video probably says it all.
We were laughing so hard by the time we’d realised what had just happened — I guess that means we enjoyed it.
If that wasn’t enough thrillseeking for our faint hearts, we were on to the SkyDive experience, the only outdoor one in the UK.
My older son Jamie, 18, joined us for this one and at least this time we weren’t swinging or flying.
Instead, above what looks like a giant trampoline, we lay on a stream of air pumped from beneath us that forced us upwards to mimic the freefalling feeling.
We’ve been lucky enough to try it indoors before but doing it outside tops that. “Arms up and bent, back straight, legs slightly bent, and relax,” says our instructor.
If that’s not enough fun right there, Hangloose also has a highwire course and inflatable waterpark — for when the sun is out.
Relax! Easy for him to say.
I just about get the hang of floating by myself before he playfully joins me and lifts me ten metres to spin around before landing.
Jamie and Josh love it and Jamie is flying by himself in seconds, even zooming about like Spider-Man after a little guidance from our instructor.
If that’s not enough fun right there, Hangloose also has a highwire course and inflatable waterpark — for when the sun is out.
For my daughter Jess, seven, the extreme experiences were out of reach with a minimum age of eight, but she was more at home in Dinotropolis, the shopping centre’s amazing indoor soft-play.
It is dinosaur-themed, obviously, with slides, ballpits, climbing walls and a mini kart track.
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Bluewater also has a 17-screen Showcase Cinema de Lux including IMAX, Gravity Active trampolines and indoor climbing, plus 60 (yes, 60) eating outlets and two mini golf courses at Pirate Cove Adventure.
And in May, former Man Utd and England star Rio Ferdinand and friends will launch the world’s first Ballerz air dome, offering competitive football activities.
Shops? There’s 300 of those, but they’re almost an accessory to the thrillseeking now.
Another go on the Giant Swing, anyone?
